SOCIAL MEDIA AND OVERSHARING

We all have that friend. Maybe a few friends, who use their social media accounts as their personal diaries. We know all about their problems, love lives, and even their favorite songs to listen to while they’re crying over their sad lives.

Ok, that’s not fair. But do you know someone like that? 

In the age of the Internet where everything is fair game, anything you post can and will be used against you. So even if you’re looking for sympathy, or trying to help someone who may be going through the same thing, it is more than likely that you are offering yourself up as a sacrifice to the Troll Babies of the land of the World Wide Web.

I hate to use her as an example because I love her so much, but the recent extravagant shit show that Kehlani found herself in the midst of is a great example. Whether or not you’re famous, the things you put on the Internet will absolutely be used for your downfall.

In case you haven’t heard, which I’m sure you have, here’s the short version. Rumors and photos led the Internet community to believe Kehlani was cheating on her former boyfriend Kyrie Irving with her former former boyfriend PARTYNEXTDOOR. The whirlwind eventually led Kehlani to allegedly attempt to take her own life.

Kehlani didn’t deserve the major backlash that she received from the Internet. But I wonder: would it be the same if she had just said nothing about it online and handled it herself? She wouldn’t have had to put her personal life on the world stage. Because of it, people criticized her, saying she faked a suicide attempt and no one tries to kill themselves over men.

Look, we all are going through things and I’m sure we’ll never know what she is going through. But I don’t think we need to know. Online, we tend to want to build a sense of community with one another and we think that most people will be on our side. That isn’t necessarily untrue, there are people online that are on your side. But please, please beware what you share. There are so many people who are waiting to see you fall and I can’t stress that enough.

So what’s the lesson here? What can you do to protect yourself?

Private pages: You don’t need a public page to display all of your thoughts to everyone.

Mute: When people say the mean things that they say, you can mute them out.

Block button: the trolls might be there, but you don’t need to see them.

Smile: because whatever they say to you about your life, just remember it’s YOUR life and you have the power to change what you don’t like. Love yourself.

Let the Troll Patrol believe what they want to believe. No fight is worth taking your life.

 

IS THIS APPROPRIATION?

Hip hop, rap, R&B. All musical genres that began in the black community and have become so popular that everyone wants a piece of.

It’s every rapper’s dream to be worldwide and blow up on big stages. Who doesn’t want the glamourous lifestyle that hip hop artists show us every day? If you asked most people these days what they would rather be doing between working a 40-hour week and being a famous artist, the answer is usually the latter.

It seems as if what people of color fail to realize is that this isn’t a dream only they dream. People that look like Iggy Azalea and Macklemore, they have these dreams too!

So what’s the big deal? Iggy Azalea has come under fire so much for her portrayal of a rap artist in the body of a tall white girl from Australia. If you read comments made on social media about her the majority of them basically say “you can’t be a rapper, you’re white” and “you’re not about that life!”

I am not here to play savior but listen to any Iggy Azalea song and you’d be hard pressed to say she speaks any ill will toward black people or even uses the n-word once. It’s not her style.

In an interview with Billboard, Kendrick Lamar spoke on the criticism of Azalea.

“She’s doing her thing,” King Kendrick said. “Let her. Do your thing, continue to rock it, because obviously God wants you here.”

This is the same Kendrick, mind you, whose album good kid, m.A.A.d city lost to Macklemore’s The Heist a year prior at the Grammys.

Even after Macklemore won the award he did not believe he deserved it and issued an apology.

“That text surprised me, but Macklemore is a genuine dude,” Kendrick said. “I wish him much success.” So why are we ostracizing these people?

Did Kendrick deserve to win? Absolutely! There is no denying that GKMC and his latest release To Pimp A Butterfly are works of lyrical art. Will I take Macklemore’s accomplishments away from him? Absolutely not. The Heist sold 78,000 copies within hours of being released and it’s doubtful to say that all happened because of his skin color.

So where is the win here? What’s the takeaway? A very large audience is amused by the music these “wannabe” rappers are putting out these days, right? Regardless of whether or not we listen to it, the album sales are proving the point for us: hip hop is now as mainstream as it gets. In turn, more than just black people are listening to, buying and profiting off of hip hop music. It is what it is. For so long black people and other people of color were struggling to fit into society. Now we have people who don’t look like us but want to be us, and we’re doing the same thing they did to us in times past!

It just doesn’t add up. We either want hip hop to be mainstream, or we want to continue to segregate ourselves. It’s up to us to either make the music we should be making or stop trying to drag other people down.

 

BLACK WOMEN IN POPULAR TELEVISION 

I love a good primetime television show. More than anyone I think I get excited just to come home from a long day of being out, pour a glass of wine, and watch my favorite shows. For me, it helps when you see some of the favorite shows on Primetime are starring some of our stars in the African American community.

But it also brings up a great debate point that I never noticed until recently. Those high power stars in the African American community are playing “side chicks” to married men of prominence.

To be clear, I love shows like Scandal, Being Mary Jane and Empire. But is it because the show is good that I love it, or is there an underlying agenda?

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I can’t recall the last time I’ve seen an African American woman of color starring in a television series portrayed as anything other than a side lover. The last semi positive role with decent success was Issa Rae’s internet sitcom Awkward Black Girl.

As much as I love ABG, I am hard pressed to say it has anything even close to the amount of success Kerry Washington has received from Scandal. Why?

Is it the drama that people fall for? Is it the backstory? Or is it something deeper?

Olivia Pope is a very powerful woman in the United States but her story wouldn’t be nearly as interesting unless she was getting it on with the President behind closed Oval Office doors. Or at least that’s what we’re shown.

Mary Jane Paul is a very successful broadcast journalist in her own right, but do you not get a rise out of watching her try to figure out her insane love life? Does it not excite you to watch her with other women’s men and try to claim them as her own? Obviously it does, that’s the only thing that will explain the high ratings.

Cookie. Oh how we love us some Cookie from Empire. She’s crazy, she’s sexy, she’s cool…and she wants her man back. And here we are at Square One.

This isn’t isolated to sitcoms either, just to be clear. We all watch Love and Hip Hop and shows of that nature because the dramatic stories of ratchetness and infidelity are entertaining to us. People are drawn to the salacious things black people are doing on television.

Where does the behavior take a turn? Will it get better? It only seems to be getting worse as the years go on. Primetime television shows are taking note of what’s trending and capitalizing on it. The real question is whether or not we’re going to stop watching what they’re putting out.

Let’s be honest. These shows and shows like them are what’s captivating even our youngest of audiences. Perhaps people choose not to see the negative in the characters, being that they are all powerful women with minor flaws. They don’t necessarily fit the general “stereotype” of black women in America at all but their life stories have us chained to our TVs, watching what happens next.

I suppose my question to you is this: the two biggest stars of primetime television today are black women. Does it motivate you to know that it is possible to rise up the ranks, even though their storylines on the show are what they are?